Death

How does it feel like?
To know your time is up..
To realise that this is it.

To leave what you have,
How do you prepare yourself,
To meet your creator.

Have you seen death?
Seeing people leave their loved ones,
Watching them smile in their long sleep...

What if today is your last?
Would tomorrow be any different?
Or would it just be you missing out?

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts

Shut Up

You are a human not,
But a green-eyed creature,
You go around talk and preach,
About the untrue rumours you go spread.

To think that you'd get off scot-free,
Is a dream and fantasy that you'd never get,
For the hatred you tried to instill in us is now gone,
For the truth is out and got us much closer than before.

Hey creature, your mouth truly stinks...
And your offsprings has got the same genes,
Maybe that's why we never got close to it...
We chose to be different and we paid the price.

We are proud individuals,
We've got brains to think,
We do know the good and the bad,
We are never that easy to be influenced.

We stand to the truth,
Sure we've never spoken,
But we will for sure one day,
The day you're caught off-guard.

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts

Pain, hurt and dissapointed...

If he fails to see the greatness of my feelings,
Emotions, or in other words, my love...
And wanted me to leave..
I know I will...
In tears maybe,
in frustration or in fear..
But I know I will..
Because I have to...

To not fall is a dream,
To keep falling is not a failure,
To not be in love till time is right,
To keep waiting is in my might,
But to be shut out of his life...
That's more like a living nightmare.

Calls rejected, messages left ignored.
Will he ever realise? Will he wake up?
How long will he take to stop hurting me?
Maybe someone else existed, but who?
What do I lack? Where did I go wrong?

I have failed to keep my patience at bay,
I have tried letting everything go,
But my dear, you're the one to pay,
For the lost is yours, so do learn to forgo..
For those who give in is not always the loser,
Please think deep and ponder,
Is this all really necessary?

What matters to you is you,
Try to turn it around,
Think about how it is if you are me,
Of the things I had to deal with,
The things you did to me,
I am just doing it back at you,
If I can handle what you did,
Couldn't you just do the same?

People will do what you did to them.

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts

Waiting

Am right here,
Waiting for you,
As I lie on my bed,
With my phone in hand.

I wait patiently,
For your text,
With love I think of you,
Nothing else in my mind.

In my heart you rule,
In my mind you reside,
Kept looking at my phone,
Waiting for your name to appear.

I wonder if you think of me,
Like how I am thinking of you,
I wonder if your heart beats my name,
As often as my heart yearns for you....

My love,
I'll be waiting,
No matter how long,
I'll still be waiting....

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts

Kini Kau Kembali

Setelah kau hancuri impianku,
Kau kini merayu agar ku kembali,
Dan aku langsung segera menerimamu,
Keperitan yang aku lalui langsung hilang.

Mungkinkah akan berulang,
Peristiwa yang amat berbisa ini?
Atau mungkinkah kau kini sedar,
Bahawa aku benar menyintaimu?

Adakah perasaan di hatimu itu cinta?
Adakah kau benar menyayangiku?
Adakah kau merasakan keperitanku?
Atau hanya sekadar inginkan teman?

Bukan ku ingin meragumu, Sayang..
Tetapi hati kecil ku ini takut sengsara,
Bukan ku ingin mencabar ketulusan cinta,
Tetapi, Sayang, aku sebenarnya takut kecewa.

Sememangnya ibuku pernah berpesan,
Jangan dikau tinggal di tepian pantai,
Jika kau takutkan ombak melanda,
Namun, demi keindahan pantai, aku mencuba.

Mulanya ku rasa aman,
Mendapat sinar matahari,
Yang memancar indah di lautan,
Menikmati angin yang meniup rambutku.

Dan bila senja tiba,
Aku dapat melihat,
Si Matahari membenamkan dirinya,
Sungguh indah memori malam itu.

Aku ingin kelebihan,
Lalu aku cuba berenang,
Supaya aku dekat dengannya,
Tetapi malang datang menimpa.

Aku hampir lemas ditarik ombak,
Sesak nafas ku mencengkam dada,
Aku terus mencuba untuk ke darat,
Alhamdulillah aku kini selamat...

Tetapi aku kini diselimuti ketakutan,
Takut untuk cuba berenang lagi,
Takut ditelan ombak sekali lagi,
Tetapi aku masih juga di tepian pantai...

Demi keindahan pantai,
Aku rela berisiko jika ombak kembali,
Demi memori dgn si Matahari,
Aku rela merasa kehangatannya...

-Sebuah karya dari sudut pemikiran Junaidah

Derderai Sudah

Hati ku sudah hancur,
Tak mungkin akan kembali,
Biarlah aku sendiri untuk mengubati,
Hati yg telah diracuni dengan duri,
Yang tiada pernah ada akhrinya.

Seandainya sudah suratan takdir,
Akan aku terima seadanya dengan ikhlas,
Seandainya sudah tiada lagi nyawa di badan,
Janganlah dikenang kerana ia akan membinasakan.
Cukup sudah penderitaan aku di kali ini.

Usah, jangan diucapkan lagi kalimahmu itu,
Janganlah kamu berkata lagi kerana kata-katamu,
Sangat bisa dan pilu buat luka di hatiku ini untuk menerima,
Biarlah masa menentukan bila parutku ini akan sembuh,
Tiada makna untuk aku memaksa diri apakan lagi memaksamu.

Siapalah diriku ini?
Hanya sekadar seorang wanita,
Yang merindukan dakapan si jejaka,
Sesungguhnya tiada lagi pengganti,
Hilang sudah perasaan di jiwaku ini.

-Karya dari sudut pemikiran Junaidah

Dilemma

Why have you returned?
Why the sudden change?
Why stir up my emotions?
Whilst my feelings were strong,
You left saying you're just an illusion.

Now that I am in someone's else arms,
You returned to express your hidden emotions,
Indeed I still have that little yearnings for you,
But I wanted so much to forget you the same.
I wanted so much to ignore, but I couldn't resist.

I am lost with what you want,
I am even lost with what I want,
Why the sudden eruption of desire?
Why the sudden need for my existence?
Is this feeling mutual or is it merely virtual?

Shed some light,
Not your shadow,
Give me answers,
Not another riddle.

-Lost in Junaidah's thoughts

Realm of Questions

As I lie down,
Facing the ceiling,
Slowly teleporting,
Into another realm.

As I closed my eyes,
In indulgence of the good,
I heard a faint voice,
Calling my name in a distance.

The voice I've heard,
I failed to differentiate,
Between reality and fantasy,
I couldn't seem to think clearly.

My mind are fused,
Fudged with problems,
Some are non-existent,
And yet it made me worry.

Problems seemed unsolved,
I tried to straighten things out,
But fear that enveloped me stopped me,
I was made hesitant to make the first step.

These fears seemed endless,
And I've ran out of all my strenght,
I can't seem to stand up and debate,
My brains seems corrupted to think.

My brains,
It failed again,
My mind,
It is destructed.

I understand not,
The situation that unfolds,
I understand not,
The reaction that follows.

Why me?
I asked.
Then again,
Why anyone else?

Karma maybe,
Or retribution?
Self-contribution,
Or self-destruction?

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts