Realm of Questions

As I lie down,
Facing the ceiling,
Slowly teleporting,
Into another realm.

As I closed my eyes,
In indulgence of the good,
I heard a faint voice,
Calling my name in a distance.

The voice I've heard,
I failed to differentiate,
Between reality and fantasy,
I couldn't seem to think clearly.

My mind are fused,
Fudged with problems,
Some are non-existent,
And yet it made me worry.

Problems seemed unsolved,
I tried to straighten things out,
But fear that enveloped me stopped me,
I was made hesitant to make the first step.

These fears seemed endless,
And I've ran out of all my strenght,
I can't seem to stand up and debate,
My brains seems corrupted to think.

My brains,
It failed again,
My mind,
It is destructed.

I understand not,
The situation that unfolds,
I understand not,
The reaction that follows.

Why me?
I asked.
Then again,
Why anyone else?

Karma maybe,
Or retribution?
Self-contribution,
Or self-destruction?

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts