My Own Enemy

I am my own enemy,
I hated myself more today,
So much hatred in me just so many,
My negative emotions got spit out today.

The mix of disappointment,
The massive anger and hatred,
Why me, Where did I go wrong?
What did I do to deserve all this?

This unfairness I felt,
Am I just the only one?
Am I the one simply to be left?
All alone facing this cruel world.

I am my own enemy today,
I've never hated myself this much,
I hate the reflection I see in the mirror,
I hate the voice of objections buzzing my ear.

I hate the way I turned out,
I hate the way people treat me,
I hate the way the world reach out,
I hate the way my heart breaks at me.

I should stop this hatred,
All these critics don't help,
I need to pull myself together,
Stop being my own enemy altogether.

I need more will,
More inner strength,
All the more to face this,
Face my own enemy now.

All the races I run,
I am tired of all these,
All these competitions,
Where nobody really wins.

I am my own enemy,
I'm making myself lose,
To this battle so hard to fight,
Tried my whole life not to give up.

Why does my body go weak,
Why now when I'm almost there?
Where's the strength I used to have?
Where's the spirit that had kept me alive?

I'm finding myself,
The one that I love,
Help me find myself,
I needed her so much.

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts