A child in Me

An innocent child,
Who wants to smile,
Who wants to learn,
Who is always happy.

A stubborn child,
Who hates delays,
Who hates waiting,
Who is always grumpy.

I am just a child,
In this mature body,
Underneath this face,
Is simply a child hiding.

I am being a child,
Who wants to play,
Who wants to fit in,
Who needs pampering.

I know not why,
I know not how,
I know not what,
I know not who.

I am a child,
Teach me Sir,
Please guide me,
Teach me dear Sir.

Things I know not,
Things I need to know,
Things I want that I need not,
Things I need and I have not have.

Teach me Sir,
How to love me,
When others mock me,
Teach me to be strong Sir.

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts

My Own Enemy

I am my own enemy,
I hated myself more today,
So much hatred in me just so many,
My negative emotions got spit out today.

The mix of disappointment,
The massive anger and hatred,
Why me, Where did I go wrong?
What did I do to deserve all this?

This unfairness I felt,
Am I just the only one?
Am I the one simply to be left?
All alone facing this cruel world.

I am my own enemy today,
I've never hated myself this much,
I hate the reflection I see in the mirror,
I hate the voice of objections buzzing my ear.

I hate the way I turned out,
I hate the way people treat me,
I hate the way the world reach out,
I hate the way my heart breaks at me.

I should stop this hatred,
All these critics don't help,
I need to pull myself together,
Stop being my own enemy altogether.

I need more will,
More inner strength,
All the more to face this,
Face my own enemy now.

All the races I run,
I am tired of all these,
All these competitions,
Where nobody really wins.

I am my own enemy,
I'm making myself lose,
To this battle so hard to fight,
Tried my whole life not to give up.

Why does my body go weak,
Why now when I'm almost there?
Where's the strength I used to have?
Where's the spirit that had kept me alive?

I'm finding myself,
The one that I love,
Help me find myself,
I needed her so much.

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts

My babe

Lots of worries,
In my messy head,
But I try to worry not,
As I've got you babe.

The only one,
Whom I can talk,
Whom I can cry,
Whom I can rely.

Your assurance,
Your caring touch,
You know just when,
You know me so well.

I love you babe,
And I'm glad we met,
Just so I have got you,
And you have got me!

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts

Obligation

Obligation,
Why it exists
Makes decisions hard,
Left my life so guity to live.

Who say's it's easy
In the first place?
Have been hard,
And will always be.

Why give me hope
To bring me despair,
Why make me jump,
To only see me fall?

You're nice to me,
So let's just be it.
Why am I obligated
To all that you've done?

I never did mention
That I'd do some returns,
I never did felt that way;
I never felt that I owe you.

Yet I'm still obligated,
To your extreme kindness,
That I definitely appreciate,
But I still owe you no favour.

For your love,
I'd return love,
For your kindness,
I'll remember you all my life.

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts

Mayhem of my own

It's a mayhem,
Stuck in a mess,
Everything is a blur,
I could only murmur.

I am punk'd,
I am busted,
Who did this to who?
Was it me or was it you?

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts

By my side always

You stood by my side,
Never thought of leaving,
You held my hand so tight,
And never did gave up on me.

I did some bad things,
But you said it is okay,
I might have disappointed you,
But you said I've never done that.

You gave me advices,
Great ones indeed,
You insist to help me,
I'm so indebt to you.

I stood helpless,
You're still there,
Stood loyal by my side,
Always and forever.

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts

Let me go

Lonely but leave me alone,
Leave me alone on my own,
Let's go our separate ways,
Let's give us some space.

I demand for space,
Yet I'm lost like an ace,
In this open field losing,
Losing no more I've lost!

I've lost indeed,
Know not where I am,
Know not where to go,
I've lost this battle of love.

I need you,
I want you,
I love you,
But have you not.

Let me go,
Let me die,
Let me leave,
This world alone.

Don't wanna pull you along,
Don't wanna waste your time,
It's getting harder,
I keep falling.

I keep flying to the top,
To simply find myself fall,
Where is this heading to?
I have no idea what to do.

Life has been hard,
Maybe I need time,
Time to reflect,
To be left alone.

I love you,
But I have you not,
I can't last a lifetime,
It just seems so long.

What's going on here?
Tears keep flowing,
I can't hold them back,
And I don't know why.

Why these tears?
Why these thoughts?
Why am I feeling down?
Why must life be so hard?

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts