Poem for Ms N

Ms N,

A star you are,

Shining brightly on us,

Showing us light in the dark.

A shooting star,

That's what you are,

A glimpse of hope from afar,

We can feel that you truly cared.

Your smile so sweet,

Your knowledge aplenty!

Leading, guiding & teaching us all,

Oh, what a precious gem you are!

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts along with another special person

Psst...

Are you still here,
Reading what I may,
Are you still here,
Wishing I'd pen another?

Your wish is here,
I'm coming back,
I'd write again here,
Yes, I am back...

Wait right there,
This may change,
Write I may,
Differently it would be.

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts

Time pass by....

It has been almost a year,
I was only here in despair,
For it was hard, my dear,
To write when love is in the air.

I had trouble,
To express happiness,
Or perhaps just not able,
To contain my little miseries.

Time came,
A visit it paid,
It left a little fame,
Some memories to replay.

How do I write,
How do I share,
To make things right,
To run away from despair.

Who am I,
To you and the people,
What was I to say,
To help you rise against the rubble?

Words are forming,
In the air it dances,
How, how am I doing?
Why, why steal glances?

Apologies,
I seek from you,
Forgiveness,
Bestowed by you.

Gratitude,
Unseen and unsaid,
In silence or attitude,
Bursting to be freed.

Time passed by,
Catch you can never,
It was my hardest goodbye,
But to forget you, I could never.

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts

Tersirat

Indah pulau dikeliling laut,
Lagenda misteri dijadikan sejarah,
Kalau benar sucinya raut,
Maju kehadapan dedahkan wajah.

Bahasa berbunga sembunyi rasa,
Makna tersirat indah dihias,
Jika benar Tuan berjasa,
Sila buktikan dengan ikhlas.

Dari sudut pemikiran ku,
Junaidah

Emosiku...

Sedihku kerana tangisanmu,
Gembiraku kerana senyumanmu,
Keghairahan ku kerana kejayaanmu,
Kesungguhanku kerana keyakinanmu.

Namun aku tersentak,
Begitu sungguh aku cuba,
Aku tetap seakan terlupa,
Dia masih yang utama.

Siapakah aku,
Hanya insan biasa,
Melalui ujian hidupku,
Walau perit, ku tetap teruja.

Terkedu rasa hati,
DiujiNya daku kerana sayang,
Terdiam daku dalam sepi,
Teringin hati menjadi dayang.

Ingin diberi masa,
Agar sempurna di mata,
Ingin diberi kasih sedalam boleh,
Agar dibimbing imam yang soleh.

Aku akan selalu menanti,
Menanti saat kau bersedia,
Akan aku setia menagih kasih,
Agar kita bersama hingga ke Syurga.

Maafkan daku jika aku terkasar bahasa,
Halalkan lah makan minum ku selalu,
Aku akan selalu memaafkanmu sentiasa,
Apa ada pada aku hanyalah layak dimiliki mu.

-Sebuah karya dari sudut pemikiran Junaidah

Blissful

Before I was just hoping,
Then I was patiently waiting,
Before I was afraid of loving,
Then I was afraid of losing.

Before it was planning,
Then it was executing,
The colours we chose,
The theme we picked.

The design I sketched,
The fabric I picked,
The favours I crocheted,
A dream came true for me.

A lifelong dream of my marriage,
More than a dream of a flawless wedding,
A dream to have a husband like dad,
Who will always protect me forever.

Blissful is my life,
That my prayers was answered,
A man who loves unconditionally,
Accepted and has taken me as his wife.

Blissful is my life,
Love surrounds me,
Hate distances from me,
Blissful has a rough journey.

- A piece of Junaidah's thoughts

Fragile..

Cool breeze from the sea,
Blowing through the windows,
Standing by the window ledge at ease,
Watching the children play and grow.

Peaceful is the scene,
Innocent are the children,
May only the good be seen,
And may the evil be gone.

Fragile is life,
So forget yesterday's past,
Appreciate today's gift,
Build the future fast.

...
Yours Truly...
...

So I heard..

Oh so I heard, You missed me, Gone were the hatred, Oh so they say cruel is me. Oh haven't you heard, My heart turned stone, All because of your dirt, Oh so they say I'll go gone. Oh so I heard, You regretted, The days you beat me hard, The days you left me stranded. Oh so you asked, How can I not love you now, And so I answered, Haven't you learn your lesson? Oh so they said, So inhuman my reaction, And so I heard, You lacked some affection. Oh so I heard, You were a disease, And you felt much hurt, And they say you made a mess. Oh I couldn't care any less, All these riot you have caused, Everything left in your big mess, Oh I shouldn't have stayed on and endured. And so I bid you farewell, Along with your empty promises, And so I heard you cursed me well, And here I am still smiling at your mess.

Racun Kesunyian

Kekasih ke semberang tambak, Kerja pula semakin belambak, Sedang dilamun rindu yang teramat sangat, Datang pula racun kesunyian menyengat.   Aku dilamun cinta dan rindu, Setelah lama tidak dibelai sayang, Aku seakan lemah dengan janjimu, Dapatkah mimpi menjadi benar, sayang?   Aku terlalu impikan teman, Hingga diracun desakan hati, Racun kesunyian ganti rasa aman, Mengapa sebegini rupa ujian mencari cinta sejati?   Sayang, aku takut. Aku tidak mahu gagal lagi, Sayang, usahlah dikau ingkari janjimu, Kerana itu akan menghancuri hatiku beribu kali.   Racun kesunyian ini telah memakan hatiku, Dapatkah kau mencari penawar mengubati sakitku? Musnahkanlah racun kesunyian yang datang ke jiwaku, Berilah aku penawar, izinkan aku selalu bermanja disisimu...

Fear of Doubt

I fear the fear of doubt,
Where the fear comes about,
I couldn't tell where it's from,
Its origin hidden looking deformed.

The fear I fear has sprung alive,
The fear of doubt bites away my life,
Every step, every move restricted by fear,
This fear made my eyes so filled with tears.

I fear the fear of doubt,
Just what is the antidote?
I couldn't find a doctor to tell,
Endless tries to find thus I yelled.

The fear I fear has returned,
The fear of doubt has renewed,
Every nook, every corner reminds,
This fear made me lose my sane mind.

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts

Jawablah, teman...

Soalan hati menanti jawapan,
Bisakah dirimu menerangkan padaku?
Perasaan yang menyelubungiku mengelirukan,
Aku takut namun aku senang bila bersamamu.

Minda sering berdialog bersama hati,
Adakah ini hanya persahabatan murni?
Apakah mungkin ada perasaan yang melebihi?
Atau ini hanyalah mainan hati dan illusi?

Bila kau disisi aku,
Aku rasa senang dan gembira,
Sering tertawa dan tersenyum,
Walaupun hatiku ini retak merana.

Aku tahu aku belum sedia,
Kerana baru patah hati aku serik,
Namun kau memberiku harapan semula,
Apakah ikhlas harapan yang kau beri?

Adakah aku yang sedang bermimpi,
Mengharapkan pada yang tiada wujudnya,
Ibarat menanti ombak memukul di dasar ini,
Membinasakan istana pasir yang ku bina indahnya.

Aku tak mungkin akan sedia,
Namun aku ingin terus berteman,
Aku sudah terbiasa dengan dirimu,
Terasa kosong bila tidak bertemu.

Aku takut, teman.
Aku inginkan jawapanmu.
Apakah ini hanya illusi di alam mimpiku,
Ataupun ada kemungkinan bunga akan berputik semula?

Diriku ibarat bunga layu,
Tiada harum mahupun rupa,
Mengapa dikau mahu mendekati aku,
Sedangkan aku tidak mempunyai apa-apa?

Apakah mungkin ada harapan bagi ku?
Untuk mengecapi kebahagiaan yang ku idami?
Dapatkah aku terus bersabar melayari cubaan hidup?
Masihkah ada jodoh buat diriku yang serba kekurangan?

Haruskah aku memperingatkan diri,
Tiada mungkin kau akan menerimaku,
Diri yang serba kekurangan ini,
Hanya layak sebagai kawan buatmu.

Haruskah aku biarkan masa beritahu?
Di mana kita akan berada di masa depan?
Sesungguhnya aku tidak akan pernah tahu,
Jika aku jodohmu, atau hanya sekadar teman.

Maafkan aku kerana membenarkan minda ku berkata,
Dalam diam perasaan aku membuak tanpa tanda-tanda,
Tanpa aku sedari aku telah mewujudkan rasa sayang,
Tidak ku percaya, tidak ku tahu, bila mulanya, bila akhirnya.

Katakan pada ku, kasih.
Apakah mungkin antara kita,
Ataukah ini semua hanya imaginasi,
Jujur la padaku, mungkin atau mustahil bagi kita?

-Sebuah karya dari sudut pemikiran Junaidah

Entah

Tidak pasti tapi ku tahu,
Tidak ingin tapi ku mahu,
Mengapa fikiran dibelengu,
Di kala aku dilamun binggung?

Tidak sedar tapi terjadi,
Tidak sangka tapi menjadi,
Mengapa bahagia di kala sepi,
Namun air mata setia teman pipi?

Minda kosong fikiran kusut,
Hati sayu senyuman pun luput,
Siang mudah dan cepat menjadi malam,
Kenangan lalu senang menjadi memori silam.

Tidak dicari tapi terjumpa,
Hendak ceburi entah mengapa,
Bukan kawan tapi menegur sapa,
Hendak berkenalan entah bagaimana.

Tidak tahu tapi ingin belajar,
Kerana impian besar yang dikejar,
Tidak semua tapi pasti ada sedikit,
Kerana permulaan rata akan menjadi bukit.

Mari kita ceburi impian,
Mari kita mimpi akan kejayaan,
Impian ini akan mencatat kecapaian,
Mimpi indah pasti akan menjadi kenyataan.

-Sebuah karya dari sudut pemikiran Junaidah

Demi Cinta

Mengapa kini, kasih?
Soalanmu membuatku keliru.
Mengapa hatiku merasa pedih?
Hatiku berat, lidahku kelu.

Tidak terjawab soalanmu.
Mengapa tersilap langkahku?
Hati rasa amat terharu.
Mengapa salah pilihanku?

Silapku kerana tidak bertanya,
Silapmu kerana tidak menanti,
Mungkinkah ini hanya balasan semata?
Atau mungkinkah ini dugaan suci dari Illahi?

Cemuhan, hinaan, persoalan,
Semuanya aku rela menghadapi,
Penantian menguji kesabaran,
Tetap ku akan cuba melalui.

Demi cinta tulus dan suci,
Aku rela berkorban apa sahaja,
Demi kasih ku yang kian berputik,
Aku akan terus menanti untuk bersama.

-Sebuah karya dari sudut pemikiran Junaidah

Silent Treatment

The silence you gave,
The emptiness I felt,
The Man I used to have,
The hug that made me melt.

Why this silence?
Why leave me hanging?
A text I await to say,
Leave me alone, and I shall.

This silence,
I can no longer hear,
This emptiness,
I can no longer bear.

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts

Harapanku

Harapanku hancur sekali lagi,
Dengan hati yang kembali retak,
Aku beranikan diri untuk melangkah pergi,
Lantas kau beri aku alasan kukuh yang teragak.

Hatiku berat menerima alasanmu,
Tidak sanggup aku biarkan hatiku luka,
Namunku sambut dengan ungkapan terima kasih padamu,
Terima kasih kerana kesilapanmu yang tidak pernah sudah.

Harapanku agar kita dapat berbincang,
Namun kau sering sahaja terlalu sibuk,
Sering sekali kita bertemu dikala kau kepenatan,
Kelibat mu yang letih tidak bermaya melembutkan hati remuk.

Tidak sanggup ku rasa,
Untuk menambah beban padamu,
Namun semua itu hanya sia-sia,
Kau tidak perasan pengorbananku.

Semut di seberang laut kau lihat,
Namun gajah yang berada di depan mu,
Kau buat bersahaja langsung tidak dihiraukan,
Aku hanya seorang wanita yang sering disalahkan.

Kau kata aku sering buat kau serba salah,
Tapi sayang kau juga buat aku sebegitu rupa,
Mengapa menjadi satu beban untuk kami bicara?
Sedangkan ianya sepatutnya membantu huraikan masalah...

-Sebuah karya dari sudut pemikiran Junaidah

Cinta Tuanku

Mengapa hati ku bernyanyi gembira,
Mengapa kini ku rasa bagai di syurga,
Ingin ku terus di samping mu nikmati bahagia,
Ingin ku terus memberi mu senyuman ku yg jelita.

Adakah ini sebuah mimpi indah,
Apakah mungkin ini hanya sementara,
Ingin ku terus disayangi dibelai dan dimanja,
Ingin ku terus merasa nikmatnya keikhlasan cinta.

Wahai Tuanku yang bertakhta di hati ku,
Jangan lah dikau memberi ku harapan saja,
Buktikan la wahai Tuanku apakah benar katamu,
Jangan lah dikau berkata seribu namun segala dusta.

Ampun Tuanku hamba datang merayu,
Jangan lah Tuanku terus menyiksa jiwaku,
Sambutlah tanganku bantulah aku wahai Tuanku,
Jangan lah Tuanku berdiam diri tanpa membela cintaku.

Sesungguhnya hati ini telah Tuanku curi,
Sesungguhnya jiwa ini telah Tuanku miliki,
Jangan lah Tuanku terus mencurigai cinta ini,
Jangan lah Tuanku menolak cinta sejati ku ini.

-Sebuah karya dari sudut pemikiran Junaidah

I said I heard you thinking

In the morning,
I sat myself thinking,
I said let's continue loving,
Because I heard you saying,
Yeah, you said you are trying,
To be the one who'd be caring,
Always being next to me listening,
And I asked what is it you'd be saying,
I waited for a reply but i ain't hearing nothing.

Tell me honey say what you're thinking,
I ain't gonna care even if you say I'm tripping,
Coz' You and I both know I ain't do that thing,
So tell me baby say what you wanna be saying,
Yeah, I said I ain't gonna care if it's me you're hating,
Coz' Baby You and I know how much we've been wanting,
Yeah, I heard you say it's me whom you have been waiting.

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts

Finding Love

Whilst I've found some, I lost many through the journey...

I know not what is bound to happen, how or when it'll come....

Perhaps I am holding on too tightly on the past that has been residing...

And perhaps that's the reason why I've been in this pathetic state of mind....

Not knowing what love is or what it means,

Not knowing how love would feel like or how it should be,

Clueless with how it would be to be with someone who loves me,

Clueless with how I should react when I feel the absence of love in me.

I need the light to shine on to the path I'm taking,

Sadly, the more i desire for the light, the darker my path is,

I need the littlest love to envelope my cold heart,

Unfortunately, the harder I try, the more hate fills up my soul.

I know not why hatred became part of me,

I know not when I'll start loving completely again,

I wondered if there's someone like me who'd know,

The way to treat me right and to set some love in my heart....

Where are thou, soulmate?

Why haven't you saved me?

How do you look like in reality?

Tell me dear one, will you come?


-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts

Unexpected

Never did I expect,
To meet you tonight,
With much boredom,
I thought I'd just pass my time.

Little did I know,
I'd be having much fun,
Watching you smile and joke,
It seemed like we're meant to be.

As time passes,
It seemed to me,
Like I've always known you,
Deep down I know I had fun.

Today as I rode home,
I wondered if you'd remember,
This day we spent together not alone,
With friends who seemed to know better.

I wondered now as I lay on bed,
If you'd be thinking of me in your dreams,
Like how I am thinking of you as I type,
As I wondered along my phone rang and it read your name.

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts

Jealousy

This is jealousy,
Deceiving is what you see,
Accusing is your best remedy,
Comparing what it seemed to be.

Raping my territory,
With your mere jealousy,
Saying what you only see,
Hurting beyond what is supposed to be.

-A piece of Junaidah's thoughts